Tits up Turnbull

8 Dec

lmao

 

Ever deft, the happiest prime minister continues to nimble his way through the minefields and wastelands of unimagined incompetencies, singular and collective, performed for an increasingly incredulous electorate, 24/7.

Always with a jolly hah hah hah at the ready, one vowel the only remaining distinguisher between him and his nemesis, failed prime minister Tony (heh heh heh) Abbott, who continues to loom from the back benches like an aggrieved shade deprived of proper burial rites, intent on tormenting the living until it is accorded what it considers its due. In this instance, a seat in Chuckles’ cabinet.

There may well have been a more ridiculous public figure than Malcolm Turnbull in our country’s history, but I just can’t think who at the moment. We’re spoiled for choice in the stupidity stakes, but what sets Malcolm apart from your Bernardis and your Christensens, your Duttons and your Morrisons et al, is that they are being themselves, however bizarre that self might seem, while their leader has abandoned all hope of ever being himself and is instead scrambling to imitate the very people he’s supposed to be leading because if he doesn’t they’ll kick him out.

It’s unseemly. The PM lacks all decorum. 

Just yesterday the sycophantic cockwomble  ruled out any possibility of an emissions trading scheme, in the full knowledge that this decision will cost households and businesses some $15 billion over the next decade.  He did this because harbinger of doom Senator Cory (bestiality will be next) Bernardi cawed like a coal-black crow that the proposed scheme was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard. Which prompted me to observe that the Senator has obviously never listened to himself if he thinks the dumbest thing he’s ever heard was articulated by somebody else.

Flailing around for distraction from yet another capitulation to the far right-wing loons, Turnbull took to attacking school teachers, some of whom will next week protest successive governments’ vile refugee policies by wearing t-shirts with relevant slogans in the classroom.In a leap that would test the credulity of even the most ill-informed, Chuckles went on to claim that such action might well exacerbate our disastrous global results in maths, science and reading, as revealed yesterday.

It is inappropriate for teachers to take political action, and they should behave with more decorum, he thundered, in yet another burst of confected outrage that puts just about every chronically outraged Twitterer to shame. Watch and learn, tweeps. Watch and learn.

It is the conservative way, to be far more outraged by the naming of crimes and criminals than by the crimes themselves. It isn’t inappropriate to torture refugees, it is highly inappropriate to protest about it. Teachers are guilty of politicising torture which is actually quite apolitical, you didn’t know that did you?

Wife Lucy winds Chuckles up with a key in his back every morning to get him going, then the loons give him his instructions for the day. He only has to remember to laugh as he goes slowly tits up, like a performing seal stranded on the side of the zoo pool.

Honk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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32 Responses to “Tits up Turnbull”

  1. Marilyn December 9, 2016 at 3:00 am #

    Fucking brilliant, Cockwomble.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. doug quixote December 9, 2016 at 9:04 am #

    Excellent stuff, Guinevere. You’ve nailed the bastards.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. helvityni December 9, 2016 at 12:26 pm #

    Our very own hollow man, he smiles whilst Abbott, Bernardi et others decide on policies…

    No worries, it all ends up being Labor’s fault. ( at least he pronounces the word ‘Labor’ correctly, in Cormann’s mouth it changes into ‘Liabor’, or something similar…

    Liked by 1 person

    • doug quixote December 9, 2016 at 12:43 pm #

      He always claimed they needed a better salesman. Abbott in a better suit, no budgie smugglers allowed.

      The ‘better salesman’ claim presupposes that the policies are OK in the first place, a dubious proposition.

      This is still the same incompetent government that Abbott tried to lead, the same one that sacked him for incompetence.

      What is the greatest political joke? . . . they get elected.

      Liked by 1 person

      • helvityni December 9, 2016 at 5:31 pm #

        No budgie smugglers for Mal, no more gym attire for Ms Julie.

        Only the best suits and whitest smiles will do according to Mal; I see two empty coat hangers, no conviction, no real leadership…

        At least Abbott was authentic, if nothing more….

        Liked by 1 person

        • Jennifer Wilson December 12, 2016 at 6:10 pm #

          Yes, Helvi, he never pretended to be anything other than what he is: a *********

          Like

          • paul walter. December 12, 2016 at 6:46 pm #

            Are you sure that is not is spelled *********, or am i thinking of the pluraL ?.

            Like

            • paul walter. December 13, 2016 at 4:10 pm #

              At least sheep with decorum is not like Wilson, who avoids bad language like a delicate petal. Truly, this is a refined sensibility, no calling a spade a shovel, no asterisks and euphemisms like Wilson, from this mysterious sheep with decorum..

              Glad the sheep with decorum raised the issue about panty lines- a) because of the crap media does during the silly season b) because it again allowed some to bring up the amount of tax and royalties dodged that could fund adequate social infrastructure such as women’s shelters…the sort of story left out to make way for crap about what celebs wear to the shops.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Jennifer Wilson December 14, 2016 at 8:18 pm #

              I can’t remember what I meant, PW
              Also the asterisks were ironic given my disregard for what is commonly thought of as bad language. Except for cunt, which I’ve explained at length somewhere.

              Like

              • paul walter. December 14, 2016 at 11:46 pm #

                No. You definitely said ********. I would have let it go at *@*#%$^.!&, although this applies more to cockwombles.

                Liked by 1 person

  4. paul walter. December 9, 2016 at 4:45 pm #

    You know I have to do this:

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/dec/09/on-climate-policy-and-power-prices-turnbull-is-talking-rubbish-here-are-some-facts.

    The poor woman is utterly perplexed…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Andy December 10, 2016 at 3:51 pm #

    The only one that might exceed the ridiculousness (sic) of (Cockwomble) Turnbull was Billy McMahon. I am old enough to remember good old Big Ears …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Stephanie Cornwallis December 11, 2016 at 1:26 pm #

      McMahon still (just) ahead of Turnbull, in my opinion, but not by far, and Turnbull is gaining ground every day.

      Liked by 1 person

      • paul walter. December 11, 2016 at 2:17 pm #

        Stephanie Cornwallis, the link re Katharine Murphy at the Guardian, Turnbull imho is worse than Abbott. Abbott never pretend to be other than a bastard, but Turnbull promised better, yet delivers more of the same.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Stephanie Cornwallis December 11, 2016 at 3:46 pm #

          Never mentioned Abbott. I was talking about McMahon. Turnbull, Abbott, McMahon, cockwombles all, but McMahon still marginally ahead. Expect him to be overtaken in the cockwomble stakes in the coming days. 15 billion dollars ain’t easily forgiven.

          Like

        • allthumbs December 12, 2016 at 10:36 am #

          Paul, the Turnbull you see now is the true Malcolm, the other one was the bullshit Malcolm that attracted forgiving Labor voters.

          Even Helvi was forever defending him during his hiatus between Liberal leadership positions.

          The efforts to try and focus upon Bill Shorten for everything wrong with the country and foment discontent among the electorate and second thoughts among the ALP for maintaining Shorten as leader shows that Turnbull has nothing up his sleeve.

          Turnbull hasn’t had an original thought in his entire political career, an opportunistic idea thief who has earned a reputation for articulation and eloquence that is totally unfounded.

          If the Labor party think they can use guilt as a means of turning Turnbull around and against current policy and more importantly against Turnbull’s ambition, they should eviscerate their political strategist.

          Like

          • helvityni December 12, 2016 at 11:37 am #

            Abbott was Howard’s Health Minister, and he was hopeless…

            And as I did NOT know much about the Turnbull of politics, I foolishly thought he’d be better…how wrong I was.

            Would things be any better or worse, if we had Morrison or Bishop as our leader. There’s not one competent possibility in that lot..

            Dutton? God save Australia !

            Like

            • paul walter. December 12, 2016 at 3:41 pm #

              Helvi, allthumbs:

              My idea is that Turnbull is a programmed burglar-robot brought in to crack the banker-coded economy for his owners, the big banks and international conglomerates.

              Abbott was the battering ram who broke into the control room, but couldn’t decipher the codes for the economy , particular when distracted by social conservative morality nonsenses, so bloodlessTurnbull was insinuated into the process to complete the second part (of the burglary).

              I included the following piece by Lenore Taylor maybe a week ago elsewhere, but remain greatly taken by it.

              It culminates in the revelation of remarkable statistics involving as royalty rates here for gas exports against another big player, Qatar.

              https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/dec/03/yes-malcolm-turnbull-youve-got-things-done-youve-tidied-your-sock-drawer

              Like

              • paul walter. December 15, 2016 at 11:21 pm #

                http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/titwillo.htm

                I miss so much..so much of the whys and wherefores slip under my guard..oh for a really sharp mind.

                This:

                https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/dec/15/frydenberg-approves-controversial-port-melville-development-on-tiwi-islands

                Put me in mind of that Lenore Taylor piece I keep citing and I come here to muse on the implications, such as the role of International Relations, FTA’s, international corporations operating out of the USA and Singapore (that’s right, it comes to mind, another recent story about a Singapore company having monopoly power over Queensland sugar), the presence of US troops here (ok, that’s drawing along bow)…

                I wonder at the timing of announcements such as Frydenberg’s hard line announcement on Melville Island and always a lack of much msm coverage (the Guardian often tries but it is only a part of bigger apparatus).

                You would think they were trying rush stuff out before people got to thinking too much about how things join up, like (lack of) royalties, rough-shodding yet furtive edicts, lack of overall msm interest in gas up in the North West and what sort of society given the cockwombling problem identified by JW as to consequences vis a vis education and dumbing down of msm in a recidivist, violent society.

                No matter. Nobody consequential would read any rubbish I’d write and I realise I am like Leunig’s Little Man, gazing at the stars, well aware that anything any individual conjectures on these imagined issues is probably superfluous and unfounded.

                There it is. It is done.

                Cockwomble, Titwillow.

                Cuckoo!!

                Like

            • paul walter. December 12, 2016 at 6:44 pm #

              Helvi, two things. I include these because you watch the Drum also. Tonight they were doing stuff on the Don Dale enquiry, (the lad in the hood did himself proud as a witness inho),

              Judith Sloan, dishonest as ever, crapped on about the lad’s behaviour but my guess is that supposed adult guards should do better than an eleven yo kid who is brutalised into the system for life.

              Then they moved to a pitiful tabloid segment on dole for polygamous marriage folk, obviously Islam- bashing involving Morrison reprising his old asylum seeker lines. Keyser Trad (I think) handled an IPA browbeating well enough, but again I thought back to Lenore Taylors brilliant article and wondered at why the soc sec system and other social infrastructure begins to fail here forlack of adequate funding. here fails.

              Like

              • helvityni December 13, 2016 at 11:07 am #

                Judith Sloane, oh dear, that irritating voice of her, and her detestable views; it all drives me to despair and fury, I think of her as some kind of self-important supervisor at Grace Brother’s Napery section, can’t ABC find better ‘experts’…?

                I don’t think she believes in rehabilitation, it’s all punishment, no empathy for the little lost black boy…

                I read the sock drawer article of Lenore, she’s pretty good….

                PS, my dear friend once told Judith that she is eating too much cake, funnily enough the Drum moderators let the comment through… .:)

                I switched the telly off when they started talking about ‘polygamous marriage’ and dole bludging Muslim missuses…all too trivial…all about saving few lousy dollars…

                Like

                • doug quixote December 13, 2016 at 1:28 pm #

                  The IPA deadheads work cheap. They probably get subsidised by the Liberal Party or its thinktank and get paid by commission, for the number of TV minutes they can spruik.

                  (DQ rolls eyes)

                  Like

  6. paul walter. December 10, 2016 at 5:04 pm #

    Cockwomble…Yeah, I like that. I could womble my cock if didn’t have so many feathers.

    https://www.comedycard.co.uk/products/funny-card-kiss-me-kwik-this-man-has-a-huge-cock

    Like

  7. Cat December 14, 2016 at 6:04 am #

    I don’t know Jennifer. I understand and share your frustration but I have arrived at a Be-Careful-What-You-Wish-For moment. Turnbull is obviously a captive of radically conservative people in the Liberal and National parties. And if the latest Essential poll is to be believed an increasing number of Liberal Party supporters want an even more conservative party.

    What will happen if Turnbull goes? I am certain Abbott will come back. He will be energised by The Trump Phenomenon. No doubt he is raring to go with the zeal of a man who knows he has met his time.

    And so I wish Malcolm well.

    Like

    • doug quixote December 14, 2016 at 8:53 am #

      Prime Ministers in office can only be removed one at a time. Give us Abbott redux and he will go the same way as Rudd redux – out at the next election. When the messiah is brought back from the dead, everyone remembers why he was crucified in the first place.

      Bring it on.

      Like

    • helvityni December 14, 2016 at 9:25 am #

      Let Abbott in and maybe when he leaves (the second time) he’ll take all his apostles with him too, all in one clean sweep…

      It does not bear thinking about having Scottie, Mutton or Ms Julie at the helm…

      Like

    • Jennifer Wilson December 14, 2016 at 8:21 pm #

      Cat, it hardly matters, really. Turnbull does everything the RW want him to do so…

      Like

      • Cat December 15, 2016 at 5:48 am #

        Very true Jennifer. Turnbull is walking on razor blades. It must be hideous. I can’t imagine why you would want the job but they all seem to cling on for dear life.

        While I expect nothing from Turnbull I would still rather him as PM than Abbott and his high-stepping crew: George C, Kevin Andrews, Dutton, Bernardi etc.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. paul walter. December 14, 2016 at 1:59 pm #

    That is what appeared to happen in 2007-9, yet they how somehow survived and got back to disrupt the country again, having nothing constructive to offer.

    Like

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