A fit and proper halibut

3 May

Yesterday Philip Adams tweeted that Grahame Morris ought to be smacked about the head with a halibut for his comment that Julia Gillard “should be kicked to death.” There’s a great analysis of Morris’s comment and the media’s almost total silence about it here.

It wasn’t a great week for the PM as next Joe Hildebrand, in his analysis of where he thinks the government has gone wrong, included this gratuitous paragraph:

And, to be frank, the fact that Gillard has no children perhaps also limits her exposure to what’s happening in the world outside the rarefied corridors of Canberra or the Melbourne dinner party set. If the PM moved in broader circles or had better political instincts then this would not be an issue but it seems as though she needs every avenue to the outside world she can get and kids can be a great – if often unwelcome – conduit to what’s really going on. Having said that, this is of course a deeply personal matter and entirely one for her. It merely presents as one reason why she may be so insulated from popular opinion.

He was set upon by a small army of tweeps, including myself, for writing sexist claptrap that I won’t even begin to dignify with argument in this post. Overwhelmed by our aggression, Hildebrand asked us to stop. Of course we intensified out attack. Surely being employed by a boss declared not a fit and proper person to run a newspaper business must trickle down, even to hacks like Hildebrand? How come he wrote three paragraphs about new FM Bob Carr without any speculation as to how his child free state might insulate him from foreign affairs?

The mouthy Murdoch minion retired for a while, then reappeared to tweet that we should read his work properly before rushing to judgement, and he provided a link in case some of us wanted to revisit it. There’s a deconstruction of Hildebrand’s opinion piece here that’s worth a read.

It then occurred to me out of nowhere that a halibut would likely be a better PM than Tony Abbott. This fish is a flat one, and a member of the right-eyed flounders species. It’s also a bottom feeder. All in all, barely distinguishable from the LOTO. Bereft of the capacity for contemplation, the halibut is undisturbed by ethical considerations. Lacking a moral compass, it is not compelled to seek the good. Caught unawares it opens and closes its jaws while simultaneously releasing mouth farts. Yes. Bring on the fit and proper halibut. We’ll never know the difference.


42 Responses to “A fit and proper halibut”

  1. Hypocritophobe May 3, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    Can we have Halle Berry, instead?

    (Oops silly me! They would probably want her kicked to death too.)

    The other similar traits between fish and f***wit are:
    The name is derived from haly (holy) and butt (flat fish), for its popularity on Catholic holy days.
    Scaly and slimy at the same time.
    Able to back-flip at a moments notice.
    Shifty eyes.

    Other factoids:
    Halibut feed on almost any animal they can fit into their mouths. Juvenile halibut feed on small crustaceans and other bottom dwelling organisms. Animals found in their stomachs include sand lance, octopus, crab, salmon, hermit crabs, lamprey, sculpin, cod, pollock, herring, flounder as well as other halibut. Halibut live at depths ranging from a few meters to hundreds of meters, and although they spend most of their time near the bottom,[1] halibut may move up in the water column to feed. In most ecosystems the halibut is near the top of the marine food chain. In the North Pacific their common predators are the sea lion (Eumetopias jubatus), the orca (Orcinus orca), and the salmon shark (Lamna ditropis).
    Reeks profusely when outside it’s comfort zone.


    • helvityni May 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

      Hypo, you are putting me oo my fish…better give to the neighbour’s cat…


    • Jennifer Wilson May 3, 2012 at 6:31 pm #

      The more I discover about the halibut the more I realise it is and Abbott-type life form.


      • hudsongodfrey May 3, 2012 at 7:55 pm #

        It’s a bottom feeder then?


        • doug quixote May 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

          Is this a new record HG : shortest post ever? Like ‘Jesus wept.’ perhaps?


          • Hypocritophobe May 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm #

            All quality,minimum quantity, DQ.

            Rappers would say,


            • samjandwich May 4, 2012 at 11:00 am #

              I just hope Mr Adams has a license for that halibut.

              Sorry couldn’t resist it 🙂


  2. M.E. In The 21st Century May 3, 2012 at 2:53 pm #

    Hypo…you are describing a fish, aren’t you and not the other bottom feeder…Clive?


  3. Hypocritophobe May 3, 2012 at 3:51 pm #

    Fish/Abbott/Palmer all very similar.
    Although a fish is more human.


  4. Hypocritophobe May 3, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

    Once Upon a time,the ABC journos proudly put their names to ALL stories published.



    is yet another example of how when it comes to blatant political assassination they go anonymous.(The sleazy tactic of leaving names of stories online is growing each day.
    It seems we are not entitled to know exactly whose words we are reading.
    If we knew who the King Pin/s of the anti-Labor stories were we would be able to see the truth.
    We can’t have that can we.
    The public broadcaster is a disgrace,I’m afraid.It has imploded ethically and morally.

    You may also note just how quickly the latest Drum article on beauty pageants was closed down.
    Can anyone explain why any stories in this genre have a moderation mind of their own?

    And still no sign of any scrutiny of the opposition.No comment about Graham Morris remark about kicking the PM to death.
    Go figure.And the pricks in the media want to continue with self regulation.
    What a bunch of cock gobblers.
    Balance ha f8cking ha.

    Will the real ABC please stand up?


    • Jennifer Wilson May 3, 2012 at 6:30 pm #

      I agree with Hypo – journos should put their names to their work. MSM complain about commenters anonymity,don’t they?


  5. Marilyn May 3, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Yep, I wonder why a small fight in a union has been elevated by the ABC to the great scandal of the century based on the word of one nut case woman who wanted the top job but didn’t get it so she decided to fry the union.

    The “scandal” is so small one is hard pressed to discover what it has to do with the fucking ALP in the first place.


    • Jennifer Wilson May 3, 2012 at 6:28 pm #

      This is a constant source of irritation to me every time I hear a journo declare that the Gillard govt is shaken or whatever by the HSU scandals. It has absolutely nothing to bloody do with the government. Even Thomson is now an Independent.


      • Steve at the Pub May 3, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

        Jennifer !! You can’t be THAT clueless !!!!!! 🙂


        • doug quixote May 3, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

          You sir are the clueless one. Gillard is a fine Prime Minister, and getting better.

          The opposition is absolutely desperate to force an election before their ploys are found to be threadbare.


          • Steve at the Pub May 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm #

            You win the internet for that one Dougyy boy! I can’t top that for hubris!!! 🙂


            • doug quixote May 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm #

              You need to try harder. Mister Rabbit will need all the help he can get soon enough.
              Spare us the emoticons.


  6. Hypocritophobe May 3, 2012 at 5:55 pm #

    Time for further speculation?
    One thing’s for sure Jackson’s destructive behaviour is not driven by altruism.As I said,there seems to be an underlying grudge.
    (Coincidentally, plenty of union officials I have met over the years,holding a similar rank to hers,have been nothing but bullies. A pity because many others do great things for their members)
    I sense there is something else laying on top of her overt narcissism.
    Probably a previous personal rejection?

    Hell hath no fury……………..


  7. Marilyn May 3, 2012 at 5:58 pm #

    A divorce


  8. doug quixote May 3, 2012 at 7:23 pm #

    The photograph bears an uncommon resemblance to Mr Tony Halibut …ar um , Abbott.

    It probably has just as many policies. And as much chance of delivering on any of them.

    One really does wonder just what Gillard has done to deserve such continued assaults from the MSM (perhaps rename it the Murdoch Stream Media?)


  9. M.E. In The 21st Century May 3, 2012 at 11:51 pm #

    Packer & Murdoch have always had an pro-Lib & anti-Labor …it goes way back … earlier than Gough. It’s just become more blatently obvious lately. And Bob Brown has had a few words to say on the subject & prob more to come..
    And the ABC is even more biased than the BBC…and that lost a lot of credibility years ago; more so recently.
    Where’s the fire gone?
    A lot of the old school aunty retired…& some died.
    and I wish Tony Delroy would soon…retire, that is.
    Cathy Bedford is good…her special skill is co-ordinating the emergency broadcasts …bushfire or flood…loved by many in rural Vic (& in Qld) radioland …her interviewing style has made a few pollies & officials squirm.
    At least there Miss Phryne Fisher.
    So not all is lost.


    • helvityni May 4, 2012 at 9:12 am #

      ABC is all Entertainment these days…Miss Fisher is a professional effort, it could almost be done for BBC, there’s a certain elegance about the show…and the acting is pretty good too..


    • doug quixote May 4, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

      The problem for the left was that it achieved much of its social agenda in the seventies and eighties; the right mounted a counter-revolution which – I hope – has now run its course. An injection of reality came with the GFC.

      Perhaps the problem in Australia is that we did not suffer enough – the right here can still maintain its lies that there was no GFC and that the Labor government overreacted and spent too much, thereby incurring a huge deficit.

      Reality may eventually catch up with the bastards.


      • Hypocritophobe May 4, 2012 at 7:59 pm #

        Or {DQ} to put it simply, the rich share holders own the media, and want to get even richer at any cost, and are doing their level best to destroy the union (and Labor) movement.
        (Taking the bulk of future wealth,finite resources and water and food security with them.)
        The coalition has the job of enacting these insane policies of the filthy rich.
        It’s about nothing, but creating classes and fuelling division for short term gain.

        However Labor and the non-coalition partners are as guilty as each other in some respects,because prior to the last election ALL players professed to want to limit foreign ownership of agricultural land and water resources.Seconds after the election they all abandoned this policy.
        No questions are raised about foreign ownership unless the transaction price of a rural property exceeds about 20 million dollars.
        As for potable water the miners and industry get the lions share to suppress dust and wash dirt and mining vehicles/infrastructure.

        As for the wealthy,those with the most to lose should be the first enlisted to fight their own wars.
        Twiggy,Clive and Gina should be front and centre in Afghanistan.(Using Chinese assault weaponry made from Aussie steel, of course)


        • doug quixote May 4, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

          Hmm, true enough. Many rightists have absorbed the false ideology deriving from the likes of Ayn Rand and Friedman, through Reagan and others, and mangled by Bush and the likes of the IPA and the Tea Party more recently.

          We can only hope this idiocy dies a natural death soon enough.


        • doug quixote May 5, 2012 at 8:37 am #

          The tide is turning overseas. The British voters are sick of the Tories already; the French are about to elect a Socialist as President, and the USA may be waking up to just how good a President they have, after seeing the Republican offerings.

          Courage and Solidarity are needed here in Australia, to see off Murdoch, the reactionary billionaires and their glove puppets, laughingly called “The Opposition”..


          • helvityni May 5, 2012 at 10:06 am #

            …and will this Holland also happen in Holland…and here we worship Murdochs, Ginas, Palmers, and Twiggies…we are a weird folk indeed…we see the Greens as Communists, and the struggling working man does not expect the mining magnates to pay their fair share of tax…

            I have a very poor friend (English), who votes Coalition,coming from a poor working class background , she thinks as a Liberal voter, she’s somehow arrived…
            Another friend once told me that as I wasn’t poor, I should not be for Labor…


            • helvityni May 5, 2012 at 11:16 am #

              edit: cross of the first ‘Holland” ….


            • helvityni May 5, 2012 at 11:20 am #

              oh, dear..cross OFF


  10. Hypocritophobe May 5, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

    Oh goody!

    QLD’s next,no doubt and then Vic.

    Who said, “only in America” ?



  11. Marilyn May 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm #

    And the Slipper yarn is done, only the ABC are too stupid to know it.

    Ashby is the one who broke the rules by using Slippers office to campaign for an NLP candidate by the name of the ghastly Mal Brough.

    That is a sacking offence and his actions are now revenge.

    And someone ought to tell that whiney old goat Grattan that Craig Thomson has not been named by either Temby or Fairwork.


  12. Hypocritophobe May 5, 2012 at 6:27 pm #

    Pretty obvious what is going on with Brough, Abbott etc.
    Abetz/Pyne/Abbott will be heavily involved too.
    There must be something to it,or the ABC would not be running in the opposite direction, or having the weekend off playing Scrabble.
    Don’t expect a result or any honest/investigative reporting from any media sources.The media of Oz will sit on their hands until the Libs tell them what the next story is.(ABC included)
    It’s almost time Ashby had an ‘unexpected’ nervous breakdown a la Grech.
    Clive’s been quiet lately,hasn’t he.(Wink wink)


  13. wghutch May 6, 2012 at 10:45 am #

    The ‘Clever Country’…
    Eric Cartman once theorised that “60% of the population are retards”.
    I was talking politics with one of the 60% (unknown until they spoke) the other day who said.
    “Gee I hope Tony Abbot kicks Gillard out soon” to which I replied “why?”
    “Because Gillard is an idiot”.
    “What facts lead you to believe this?” I asked casually.
    “Oh well, she has a big arse and wears horrible jackets”.
    Riiiggghteeeooo! If I had been quicker on my feet I could have said to this pond dwelling male, “so Tony’s arse and jackets are more to your liking and hence more qualified to run a first world democracy?
    Apparently around 50% of us have an IQ of less than 100. I fear that number has grown to 60%. I guessed this guy’s IQ was also 60 but this is the sort of blatantly sexist comment I get when speaking to many Abbott supporters. I really fear for the future of Australia and suspect the Labor hating media and their Liberal masters are largely to blame for it.
    The irony is that most of the people who would now vote for Abbott will suffer the most as a result of his “to be announced” but easily predictable policies. Unfortunately coming to any such conclusions is nigh on impossible with an IQ of 60.

    Does anyone know the IQ of the average Halibut?


    • Hypocritophobe May 6, 2012 at 11:22 am #

      Cartman sure is a genius!

      Cartman: You were sleep walking again and dressed Sarah Jessica Parker in a moose suit and you left her in the forest and she got shot by a hunter.
      Butters: What? Oh no.
      Cartman: You’re gonna have to come down and admit it was you.
      Butters: I got her killed too? Owell, at least she was ugly.

      Cartman [about Catcher in the Rye]: Are you telling us this book is filthy, inappropriate, and made a guy shoot the king of hippies? Can we read it right now?


      both quoted from Season 14, Episode 1: “Sexual Healing”


  14. Hypocritophobe May 6, 2012 at 10:52 am #

    I.Q. of halibut ??

    > Abbott, by factor of 15
    >Conservative voter, by factor of 25


    • doug quixote May 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

      A little harsh Hypo – As almost every conservative apologist will tell you,
      Tony Halibut er Abbott was a Rhodes Scholar, meaning that at one stage he had some intelligence.

      I blame the boxing and too many belts around the head, possibly some with a halibut . . .

      As for the voters, some follow their self interest, but the real fools are the “aspirational” – ie they haven’t got anything much and probably never will, but they would surely like to . . .


      • Hypocritophobe May 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

        Maybe ‘Roads” scholar, or rogue scholar.

        All associating the title Rhodes Scholar to the likes of Abbot does,is devalue/belittle/denigrate it’s meaning.
        ( PS, Brain damage from boxing could only inflict cerebral damage to an ‘initially normally functioning’ brain.Abbot’s character has been the same all the way through.It’s this character which led him to boxing,not vice versa )


  15. Marilyn May 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm #

    According to a documentary series called Ëmpire” Rhodes was an idiot.


    • Macabre May 6, 2012 at 5:59 pm #

      Yeah, but what’s that got to do with the scholarship?

      Nobel was an explosives manufacturer; haven’t seen many deride the Nobel Prize lately.


  16. Marilyn May 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm #

    Well when Newsltd. are still claiming the cretins will be paying some carbon tax and the tax is toxic rather than the pollution we know the intelligence levels of the public are in single figures.


  17. paul walter May 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    It’s a wonderous thing this intersection of a Halibut’s IQ and 60% of the population, as represented by Kevin Cartman,
    Red herrings abound throughout the thread actually. Marilyn quite correctly points out that, in isolation, the comments from Morris could be real enough, certainly for the SATP’s of the world, who only want bad news and would crucify Gillard for being a smart alec, were the woman to ever walk on water.
    No, the error with Morris appears not have been to make it clear that he is partisan rather than a disinterested, objective onlooker.
    WE know he is an ancient ideological warhorse from the Tory end of town and his values, such as they are, are reflected in his despicable, calculated adhominem on the person of the PM, so evocative of Limbaugh’s racist incitements against Obama.
    Finally, Marilyn has noted the adhominem tactic in tandem with the Carbon tax furphy it provides good evidence of a real sort as to the dishonesty of the Tory campaign.
    I sympathise with her remark that Rhodes was an idiot. But he became a very rich idiot and a shining example held up of what was required from other sensitive young white men, both out in the colonies during the Age of Imperialism and in the capitalist City of London, ever since.
    And in ad agencies, where, “whatever it takes” shall be the whole of the Law.


  18. Hypocritophobe May 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    Just how involved is the ex-Howard warhorse (Toxic-gob Morris)in the Slipper affair?
    And in Abbott’s run at the lodge?
    He does not appear to be in the back seat to me.In fact nor does Howard.Last week he was lubricating the masses with his prehensile tongue jobs over in the West.
    Word is private rentals have dropped by 25% just from him visiting the place.


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