Probing the anal

26 Aug


In a pig's arse

In a pig’s arse


On Monday night’s Qanda, somebody in the ABC’s employ allowed a tweet with the hash tag #abbottlovesanal to appear onscreen with Annabel Crabb, and the Twitterati haven’t stopped cacking ourselves since.

The situation was only exacerbated by Malcolm Turnbull who protested too much, methinks, at the allegedly inappropriate nature of the hash tag.

It was pointed out on Twitter more than once that Abbott can’t expect to have it both ways (lol). After all, he has cut the ABC’s budget to an alarming degree, and it must be very difficult to stretch meagre funding to cover censorship of Qanda tweets. Annabel Crabb then revealed her disappointment that the guilty tweep had misspelled her name, and had surely meant to write #abbottlovesannabel. ABC managing director Mark Scott issued another abject apology to the Prime Minister, thus ensuring the scandal an extended life. A creative type photo shopped an image of Abbott and Christopher Pyne, languid with post-coital bliss and naked under the Australian flag. Relief was widely expressed: at last we know the reason for the PM’s peculiar gait, and questions were raised about butt plugs.

Scott Morrison attempted a diversion, posting an image of an Irish pilot-boat in the Irish Sea, to which was added the caption, Border Force One. He claimed the craft was being used to convey himself and the PM around the Torres Strait. I tweeted my disbelief, and the manager of the Minister’s Twitter account, employed by the taxpayer, promptly blocked me. The attempted distraction, genuinely inappropriate, tasteless and hubristically arrogant, failed dismally, and Morrison himself became the target of social media mirth. They simply do not learn, these people, do they?

But it’s worth unpacking (sorry) the reasons anal sex was at the root (sorry) of all that mirth. The most unpleasant explanation is that it’s (wrongly) associated primarily with homosexual practices therefore the joke has homophobic origins. Anal sex in heterosexual relationships is not uncommonly portrayed as forced and undesirable: an act intended to degrade a woman. To anally penetrate a man is to feminize him, and for a man to welcome anal penetration is an indicator of his lack of masculinity. These are common cultural assumptions about anal sex, and they all contribute to the reasons why the #abbotlovesanal hash tag works as a source of widespread mirth.

The alliteration helps as well.

The psychoanalytic theory of anal retention also bears a mention. Freud’s anal retentive personality displays character traits similar to many apparent in our Prime Minister’s demeanour, such as stubbornness, a compulsion for control, repetitive speech, infantile desires for the security of institutionalised hierarchical structures such as the military, the Catholic church, and the police. These traits have their origins in conflicts experienced during toilet training, and in the PM’s case, could account for classic Freudian slips such as his misspeak on the suppository of wisdom.

A little deconstruction of the #abbottlovesanal hash tag reveals its complexity, and perhaps that is the fundamental (sorry) reason it’s turned out to be such a rich source of wit and pants-wetting jollity. The best jokes are the ones with many layers, the deceptively simple, the multiple meanings initially hidden.

Then of course there is the most obvious explanation: our Prime Minister commands no respect, and nothing delights us quite as much as making an arse of him.

Oh, and don’t forget, he did say he’d sell that arse to get the job…



18 Responses to “Probing the anal”

  1. Michaela Tschudi August 26, 2015 at 8:05 am #

    There’s nothing I like more than a good laugh at the expense of Abbott’s arse! Butt plugs indeed. Thank you for making my day a whole lot better sheep. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Michael Barnett August 26, 2015 at 9:19 am #

    Correction. The originating tweet came from @AbbottLovesAnal. It was not a hash-tag.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Forrest Gumpp (@ForrestGumpp) August 26, 2015 at 4:00 pm #

    And here, just for the record, doubtless due to the assiduous work of the devine Miranda thereat:

    Liked by 2 people

  4. hudsongodfrey August 26, 2015 at 11:02 pm #

    As childish pranks go this was one of the more enjoyable ones. And you’re right the joke works on a number of levels, but I’ll grant Abbott that he’d the sense Divine and Turnbull lacked, to avoid rising to the bait!

    The real question is whether it’d have been better if the handle was AbbotthatesAnal, AnalforAbbott or even Abbott4Anal should one be flexible enough of mind to realise Abbott and A butt are synonymous.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. doug quixote August 27, 2015 at 10:30 pm #

    We need to get to the bottom of this!

    Guinevere, look at your photo at the top: which of the two is Tony Abbott? Are they identical twins?

    ASIO and the AFP are looking into it.

    Scott Morrison and Poodle Pyne may well be in there, as far up as they can go.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jennifer Wilson August 28, 2015 at 6:39 am #

      I can’t decide if he’s a horse’s arse or a pig’s arse and either seems like an insult to the animal


  6. Forrest Gumpp (@ForrestGumpp) September 15, 2015 at 1:33 pm #

    Speaking of behinds, I give you the embediment of evil:

    Just to mark the day.

    Liked by 1 person


  1. Probing the anal – Written by NO PLACE FOR SHEEP | winstonclose - August 26, 2015

    […] 26AUG […]


  2. Government by distraction | No Place For Sheep - August 29, 2015

    […] the murky account of how the US President rang Abbott from Border Force One, oooops, sorry, Air Force One, and begged him, begged him to send six of our fighter jets to end the […]


  3. Government by distraction – Written by NO PLACE FOR SHEEP | winstonclose - August 29, 2015

    […] the murky account of how the US President rang Abbott from Border Force One, oooops, sorry, Air Force One, and begged him, begged him to send six of our fighter jets to end the […]


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