“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his [sic] solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
My husband often used to tell me that as well as looking into each other’s eyes, he liked us to stand side by side and look out together at the world, while experiencing it individually.
Where Rilke uses the term “marriage,” I would use the term love.
No Place For Sheep 
Whereas, as Johnny Farnham used to sing, “One is the Loneliest Number”.
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I guess there’s a difference in consciousness between Rilke & Farnham!
I admit I never was a great fan of the latter.
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The complexity defeated you?
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Totally.
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Rilke puts it well. Were I ever to be involved with someone, that is what I would want.
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It does work, but people (most of all me) expect too much, fulfilment is not an entitlement.
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This is deep and true stuff.
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