Warning: this entire narrative, while true, is also a metaphor.
In our house we know from years of experience that when the Pacific Highway is closed to the south of us, any trip north will be a dream. No trucks, hardly any cars & no speed traps. So yesterday, overcome by cabin fever, we decided to go to the big town to bother our friends there, and see a movie.
We left in a blaze of sunshine, after kicking the beast into four-wheel drive. Ten minutes later, this:
After another twenty minutes of blinding rain slowing us to an unseemly crawl, ruining the anticipated experience of free ranging the highway from hell, we started to fight about whether we should keep going, or turn back. If we kept going, the high tide together with excessive rain would later in the day likely prevent us crossing the bridge that leads into our town and we wouldn’t get home. If we didn’t keep going, we’d all fight a whole lot more when we did get home, as frustration and disappointment would be added to the already raging group aggravation. An aporia in our narrative if ever I encountered one!
It’s stupid to keep going, one of us said. When is the last time we did something stupid, another (me) demanded. Nobody could remember the last time we’d (deliberately) done something stupid and that determined our choice: we would keep going.
This didn’t stop us:
But when we got to this:
people I always thought loved me turned. I didn’t make you keep going, I pointed out to them. I’m not even driving. The driver is in charge, isn’t she? I asked, but very nicely. Anyway its too late to turn round and go home, I told them, we’re almost there, we’ll just have to make a detour. Let’s sing. Let’s sing “Solidarity forever!” Its ages since we last sang that!
A great deal of time later, there’s no need to say how much, we arrived at the movies with seconds to spare. See! I cried, triumphant (and relieved, imagine how they’d have gone for me if we’d missed the movie as well) I told you! The apparently stupid choice can often be the best one! You just have to be brave enough to take a calculated risk!
We still have to get home, a spoil sport darkly muttered, and your risk wasn’t exactly calculated. But I had only good feelings about getting home and guess what? I was right again! The highway home was dry as a bone, and we went wild, I tell you, wild! Driving at amazing speeds on the apocalyptically empty road! Shrieking with unrestrained joy: we did it we did it and, because I am generous and wise, I let them share the credit that was strictly speaking, all mine.
There’s a lesson in this for all of us, don’t you think? You just have to be wise enough know how and when to be calculatedly stupid. That’s all, and you’re most welcome.
Disclosure: this narrative is narrated in the first person by an unreliable narrator.
No Place For Sheep 
“Water over the Road”..
How can they tell?
Here in Adelaide and probably ninety percent of the rest the country it hasn’t rained for months.
As usual, it all gets dumped on the eastern side of the ranges in Qld and Northern NSW, so that all the displaced top soils and chemicals of modern agriculture again are washed out to the Reef, while down here we may have not bothered having a couple of fair years of weather, its all dried out so quickly, it’s now just a memory..
LikeLike
We moved to Bowral (Southern Highlands) because it was always looking so green and beautiful, the rains stopped two years ago when we moved in.. Now thanks to the heavy rains of late, the place is looking as it was meant to… 🙂
LikeLike
Fortune favours the brave 🙂
LikeLike
So, using your (very clever) analogy my takeout is actually one of my own personal philosophies which is a paraphrased Peter Tosh lyric: Keep on walking, don’t turn back…
LikeLike
Walk and don’t ‘LOOK’ back.
“If you just put your hand in mine We’re gonna leave all our troubles behind Gonna walk and don’t look back Gonna walk and don’t look back”
I don’t know about you, but I’d be careful whose hand you put yours in.
Gillard and Howe don’t even make the list.
Mr Tosh also met with a grisly end, but he was a fine musician.
LikeLike
Stunningly beautiful and a succinct roundup of our political dilemma and Labors fate.
And a perfectly chosen soundtrack.(Leonard Cohen would NEVER do!)
I think JW should turn it into a short film for the next Tropfest
This bit is so starkly precisely relevant, and it’s gold plated:
“I didn’t make you keep going, I pointed out to them. I’m not even driving. The driver is in charge, isn’t she? I asked, but very nicely. Anyway its too late to turn round and go home, I told them, we’re almost there, we’ll just have to make a detour. Let’s sing. Let’s sing “Solidarity forever!” Its ages since we last sang that!”
___________________________________
And at the risk of moving something from somewhere else (which readers may have already suffered through, let me add an optional ending to the political version of JWs beautiful road trip>
___________________________________
Julia’s First (and only) Pony
{ A Tragic comedy written,directed, starring and produced by Paul Howes.
Featuring Julia Gillard as herself.
The pony, Ejjarkaysherrnnn, is also played by itself.
and Paul Howes as everyone else.
(Except for an assortment of background bit players who cannot wipe the smiles off their faces.)
* * *}
…and then, torn and bleeding from stumps of worthless legs, now only a few centimetres long, the hobby horse staggers its way to the edge of the
begging cliff, its once precious cargo, is now just rotting and fetid fish offal, clinging desperately to its weary neck.A veil of writhing maggots, belies
its shape and form.
The piggy faced, one-eyed attendant, now ever present, as the anointed icon of endless obsequiousness, obediently claps at the blood drenched
coconut shells, skulking in the darkened recesses of the shaded misery outlined on the ground, before it.Together and as one, the rancid, relentless
march to oblivion intensifies.Even the desperate and famished among the growing mass of circling vultures, is repulsed by the morbid gangrenous
feast awaiting them.Soon the dance of death will join evenings darkened palette, and her all consuming shadows, for the very last time.
******************************************
Ejjarkaysherrnnn’s latest start is available here:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-02-24/gillard-unveils-2411b-school-reading-blitz/4536432
For my ending I was thinking of going for the theme from Gilligans Island for some reason.
*********************
PS
Politics, Society, Satire, Fiction, Fun Stuff
LikeLike
I KNEW you’d get it, Hypo! 🙂
LikeLike
Water:
Over the road?
Under the bridge?
Murky water?
Up the creek without a paddle?
Effluent?
or
over their heads?
So many analogies.
Sinking ship.
Stop the boats.
Leaks
Stem the flow. etc
Leadership:
There’s almost no way anyone is going to put their hand up now so Labor is not only gone for all money, but they almost lengthen their own time in the sin bin for every announcement Gillard makes.
I seriously think it is damage control time where they try to salvage and preserve what they currently have,.
HG may have said the same thing.
Ditch Gillard and admit the failure,install a leader who can mend the fences and who can transition the party to a democratically elected broad minded /broad principled leader, beyond the smashing headed their way.
They need to ditch the BS AWU cancer before it’s too late.
This admission that they are all work and no progressive says even more about their commonality with Abbott, than their differences.
Either way Abbott is about to eviscerate Labor by way of the unions underworld links and shady deals.
And I am realistic enough to believe that the Thomson affair is not a a one off, and that some of the the things he is alleged to have did, he actually did.
The argument that he did not ‘break any rules’ is as weak as ‘vote for Gillard because she is not Abbott’.
LikeLike
The Oscars are a perfect parody of this as well.
Best Doco was awarded to Searching for Sugarman, a film I enjoyed immensely because I am a fan of Rodriguez of long standing.
But to avoid insulting the Israelis and the US army the award was the back up band.
Australia is like that now. But one win today, Assange has been registered to vote and stand in the senate inspite of Carr cutting him loose.
Murali is the metaphor for Australia’s human rights obligations – this nice Sinhala cricketer is being paid to tell Tamils how awful Australia is while he is here playing cricket for Sri Lanka.
LikeLike
But, you forgot the punchline – what movie did you see?
Cloud Atlas perhaps??
Yes well, it rains so much in Sydney that my clothes go mouldy and driveway’s come adrift and is floating slowly down the street.
LikeLike
sam, that’s what I’m curious about, Jennifer? Please let us know…
LikeLike
Silver Linings Playbook!! And I really, really liked it!
LikeLike
That’s what my mum said too! How about that.
Still, I’ve no idea what that signifies…
LikeLike
Sometimes there is no signification….
LikeLike
Suggested theme song with tongue in cheek political metaphor very much in mind….
Dirty Water by Status Quo.
Oh, oh, oh, oh
The water’s getting deep
And I can’t swim
Because it’s dirty, dirty water
~
Rinse and repeat!
It’s 12 bar blues so there’s bound to be a bridge in there somewhere!
LikeLike
I was thinking Nick Cave: “No it ain’t gonna rain any more, now my baby’s gaowne”.
LikeLike
Some will understand my experience with Nick Cave fans online has been less than endearing at times :), but one can’t blame Nick for that.
For mine it had to be bog standard blues to make dead sure the bridge reference worked, and I guess if we included every “my baby done me wrong song” with a watery metaphor we’d probably be here…. well, until September at least!
LikeLike
How about Johnny Cash “Five feet high and rising””?
How highs the water mama?
LikeLike
Ah yes, everyone from The Grateful Dead to Lady Gaga has rain or a flood song.
The man in Black is always a serious contender.
LikeLike
“Blame It on the …..
…..Rain”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/georgebludger/8467288914/in/photostream
LikeLike
Is that your Flickr Hypo or are you just muscling in on those of us who actually bother to create our own original head swaps 😉
LikeLike
No not mine.I have bookmarked the site,though.
I think there is a picture for almost every topic, which is discussed here.
Although(rightly so) they tend to un-favour the right.
Like this
http://www.flickr.com/photos/georgebludger/8006168416/in/photostream
All praise George Bludger
LikeLike
Here’s one for Tone.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/georgebludger/7855706734/in/photostream
LikeLike
Glenn Yarbooroughs Baby the Rain must fall is one of my favourites and the Cascades Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling rain, Singing in the rain. Herman’s Hermits “Don’t go out in the rain”.
Everyone indeed does have a good rain song, I just wish it would rain here.
LikeLike
There is only ONE song,
Enjoy
BOB DYLAN
“A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall”
Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son ?
And where have you been my darling young one ?
I’ve stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
I’ve walked and I’ve crawled on six crooked highways
I’ve stepped in the middle of seven sad forests
I’ve been out in front of a dozen dead oceans
I’ve been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
Oh, what did you see, my blue eyed son ?
And what did you see, my darling young one ?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin’
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin’
I saw a white ladder all covered with water
I saw ten thousand takers whose tongues were all broken
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son ?
And what did you hear, my darling young one ?
I heard the sound of a thunder, it roared out a warnin’
I heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world
I heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin’
I heard ten thousand whisperin’ and nobody listenin’
I heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin’
Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter
Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
Oh, who did you meet my blue-eyed son ?
Who did you meet, my darling young one ?
I met a young child beside a dead pony
I met a white man who walked a black dog
I met a young woman whose body was burning
I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow
I met one man who was wounded in love
I met another man who was wounded and hatred
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
And what’ll you do now, my blue-eyed son ?
And what’ll you do now my darling young one ?
I’m a-goin’ back out ‘fore the rain starts a-fallin’
I’ll walk to the deepths of the deepest black forest
Where the people are a many and their hands are all empty
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison
Where the executioner’s face is always well hidden
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten
Where black is the color, where none is the number
And I’ll tell and think it and speak it and breathe it
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it
Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin’
But I’ll know my songs well before I start singin’
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
LikeLike
Paid 🙂
Face it people Dylan (usually) = automatic forfeit of all other claims!
If it had a bridge it would have been perfect for this.
LikeLike
I lurve that song
LikeLike
…and the relevance is still mind blowingly concise.
A beautifully and detailed painted prose.
Genius.
LikeLike
Sometimes those lyrics sites will get you though. There’s a couple of lines in that song that always stuck out for me.
I met one man who was wounded in love.
I met another man who was wounded in hatred.
And they get it wrong! Of all things that line 😦
LikeLike
Oh yes I see it now.Bummer!
I’ll check to see if the site offers edit inputs>
LikeLike
Potentially already done!
LikeLike
Bryan Ferry covered this song, too.
Was it a bridge to far?
LikeLike
Ohhhhh!
LikeLike
As a Roxy Music fan, I delighted in Ferry’s version of this song. He did a number of excellent covers, including Sympathy for the Devil and These Foolish Things; and of course Jealous Guy.
And he still looks very suave and svelte in his late 60s. BTW, Mick Jagger will be 70 in July!
LikeLike
Jesus DQ,don’t you ever sleep! ?
😉
I also like Roxy Music and BF.
I really liked the slick production of Avalon, but then I think it probably has the ability to conjure images, and apart from owning a very early tape of Ferry (In Your Mind) and a later CD of greatest hits, I haven’t had the op to sit down and listen to an entire album.
Who could forget Jerry Hall in his 70’s film clip, Lets Stick Together.
Maybe it’s not even worth the exercise to compare the 2 interpretations of Hard Rain, because with Dylan is was about the message, (isn’t it always ?) whereas with BF it was a whole lot more about the entire package.
Is it a cover version, really?
LikeLike
A good question Hypo : when does a cover version take on a life of its own? We all have personal preferences, and different ways of appreciating similar things.
Some years ago Andrew Denton had different artists do versions of Stairway to Heaven; some induced a wince for someone who grew up with Led Zeppelin and the excellent original, but some were quite interesting.
It is all a matter of taste, I suppose.
Certain artists seem to understand the phrasing required to make a song work; some haven’t a clue, but still sell well because they have a fan base.
Each to his own, said the old woman as she kissed the cow.
LikeLike
IKEA ALERT!
Important notice for JW and other food consumers at IKEA.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-02-26/czech-inspectors-find-horsemeat-in-ikea-meatballs/4539596
LikeLike
Sawdust and horsemeat……
Sounds delicious 🙂
LikeLike
Sounds like haggis.
LikeLike
Apologies in advance…. it was an e-mail 🙂
1 I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse…..I guess Ikea just listened.
2 Anyone want a burger from Ikea? Yay or neigh?
3 Not entirely sure how Ikea are going to get over this hurdle.
4 Waitress in Ikea asked if I wanted anything on my Burger……..so I had a $5 each way bet!
5 Had some burgers from Ikea for my tea last night…. I still have a bit between my teeth.
6 A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Ikea. Her condition is said to be stable.
7 Ikea are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn.
8 I’ve just checked the Ikea burgers in my freezer…AND THEY’RE OFF.
9 Ikea now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confuse barcodes for serving suggestions.
10 Said to the missus, “These Ikea burgers given me terrible trots. To beef or not to beef. That is equestrian.”
12 A cow walks into a bar. Barman says, “Why the long face?”. Cow says “Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!”
13 I hear the smaller version of those Ikea burgers make great horse d’oeuvres.
14 These Ikea burger jokes are going on a bit. Talk about flogging a dead….
Agggghhh NO! NO NO NO!
And last but not least……
15 Have you tried Ikea Meat Balls? – They’re the dogs bollocks!!
LikeLike
Well I liked ’em.HG.Some were a bit racey for this time of day.
And besides millions of horses who don’t make the racetrack each year end up as pet food or fertiliser.If we dealt with that and the criminal side of racing there’d be bugger all meat being substituted.
Imagine the drugs,chemicals and barbiturates in this horse meat.
I’m just curious, as I’ve never had IKEA meatballs, or any of their food.
Does it come with an Allen key?
LikeLike
Fine cotton was bad enough. I don’t want the next ring in going around in my lunch!
LikeLike
HG,
Quit horsing around.
🙂
LikeLike
@
doug quixote February 26, 2013 at 7:46 am #
Rolf Harris’ ‘Stairway’ was the obvious stand-out.
LikeLike
When they say “everyone’s covered Stairway” it ain’t true there’s only 305 of them…
http://www.oldbuckeye.com/stairway_covers.html
LikeLike
Recommended:
22,46,72,80.171,196,227,251,256,264,283,296.
LikeLike
Nothing beats the Leningrad Cowboys’ version, they are the bestest because they come from Finland…
For Hudson; Talk about flogging the dead, the horse might be dead, but not IKEA…it’s getting bigger and bigger, it will soon be obese.Someone in Sweden ought to be overweight 🙂
LikeLike
I hope you are joking! (Where’s my wobbleboard?)
LikeLike
…and she’s buying a stair-a way to hevv-unh,
wobble,wobble,wobble…
LikeLike
I don’t know what you’ve all got against horse. You’ve probably eaten several in your lifetimes already. Humans can eat just about anything, and what better revenge on those very slow racehorses you all back, at least once a year!
LikeLike
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse of course
That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.
Go right to the source and ask the horse
He’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s always on a steady course.
Talk to Mr. Ed.
People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Mister Ed will never speak unless he has something to say.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And this one’ll talk ’til his voice is hoarse.
You never heard of a talking horse?
Well listen to this.
I am Mister Ed.
source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/mredlyrics.html
LikeLike
You didn’t cite the hidden back-masked message though.
True.
LikeLike
As long as it doesn’t say Paul is dead some of us will be very relieved!
LikeLike
I leave these more complex matters to Bob Ellis, hudson.
Macartney is still, alive despite outward appearances and sure as heck, so am I.
LikeLike
If it help with the conspiracy,Mister Ed is an anagram of demister.
Demerits
Deer Mist
and a few others.
Take your pick.
http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=Mister+Ed.&t=1000&a=n
Whereas ‘famous mr ed’ gives (amongst others)
Mediates Forums
Defames Tourism
Mermaids Foetus
A Dummies Forest
A Mediums Forest
and interestingly
Dearie Soft Mums
Defame Mis Roust
Diameter Of Muss
Feasted Rim Sumo
Reamed Mufti Sos
Measured Fist Om
Seamed Fur Moist
Well there’s more than 107 thousand, so if you’re keen>
http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=famousMister+Ed.&t=1000&a=n
LikeLike
“Defame Mis Roust”? The utter outrage of it!!
LikeLike
Moist seamed fur?
LikeLike
Strange but true : I was thinking of that very song as I wrote the post above. Synchronicity? 🙂
“Will you have fries with your pony burger?”
LikeLike
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh Gee Wilburrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
LikeLike
Hi Jennifer,
I’m missing the latest posts sidebar already
LikeLike
aaargh I dont know why I’ve got it. Aaaargh
LikeLike
Did you mean latest comments or latest posts? Cos latest comments dropped off for some reason. Have fixed it
LikeLike
Yes the latest comments is back 🙂
LikeLike
I just noticed that photo of you driving in that heavy rain and I thought….well, what if….
LikeLike
Ahahahahahaha!! I would be sanctified!
LikeLike
I put that on Twitter. It’s fabulous
LikeLike
It was fun 🙂
LikeLike
.
Stop Press : Headline : “Voters Dissatisfied With Government!”
“Yes, in a shocking development, this headline, never before seen in the world, has been seen here in Australia. Polling suggests that in an election held today, the government would be defeated.
The Opposition called for an immediate election, the government supporters said just as well no election is due until September, and other truly shocking things were said as well.
This reporter in his two years experience as a waiter and six months as a taxi driver has never seen or heard such amazing things.
A quick straw-poll : Mary the cleaner : I’ll never vote Labor again!
Billy the shoe cleaner : I don’t know – who’s the government?
Jason the copyboy : Is there an election?
Mandy the cleaner : Shooters Party for me!
Lachie Jr : The opposition are deserving recipients of all
the votes I can drum up for them.
Ken the editor : I’d rather not say
Jack, a reporter : I’m with Ken
There you have it – after redistributing the don’t knows, a crushing 7 votes to 1 !”
(warning : the above may contain satire)
LikeLike
Is it true that at the election in NSW the voting boxes will be wearing fluoro vests so the morons who think shooting in a park is safe,can find the where to put their ballot papers?
LikeLike
Just a little footnote to Jennifer’s warning that this blog post is a metaphor. From the linked item (The End of the Web, Search, and Computer as We Know It) in the tweet: “Metaphors Have a Profound Effect on Computing”!
Just thought you would like to know.
LikeLike
On metaphors becoming true, and things that were not necessarily supposed to happen happening.
Not all that long ago I was the first poster to respond to an article published on OLO by the then Deputy Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, but few would know that because within a very short time of having posted my comment a request was made to have it taken down for being off-topic.
Julia’s article was about being driven by indignation at injustice. My comment solicited some of her drive to remedy a perceived injustice in the matter of an extradition of a British citizen, Brian Howes, from the UK to the US, about which I was somewhat indignant.
I thought there was enough overlap of key words for the post to have been on topic, but some entity with, I suspect, an acute interest in extraditions, did not like my post and carried the day.
So took resort to metaphor.
The metaphor started to take shape here: http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=3050#73310
For those wanting a little light relief from the rain and humidity, they can plough on through my posts to that thread, but this one I find interesting in hindsight, given its date and the now-apparent extent to which Gillard-related matters may have been being monitored: http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=3050#73511
A coup in Oz being planned, anyone?
LikeLike
This time, hopefully the full Twitter conversation: https://twitter.com/NoPlaceforSheep/status/307243197447426049
LikeLike